Category Archives: musings

Church Shopping in Today’s Day & Age

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*When I say “today’s day & age,” man do I feel like I’m dating myself!

Back to the topic at hand. I admit it: I thought this would be much easier than it’s been so far.

Kind of. See, I have this track record with churches in Seattle that isn’t so great.
I started out, at a young age, going to church and also protesting the first Gulf War in 1990. When I was asked, in school, how I could justify going to church and protesting the Gulf War, I wasn’t really able to answer. I just knew in my heart that church + protesting war = the right thing to do. But, I didn’t know how to answer. So, I cut the thing out of the equation that was easiest to do – I cut out church. I didn’t spend close to 40 hours per week with the church folks, whereas I did with my schoolmates. Cutting out church was easier. I felt, from that time till I left Seattle in 2000, that you couldn’t be a progressive AND go to church, in Seattle. There was a dichotomy at work that was interesting and I wasn’t able to figure it out.

Fast forward to after my move to LA and there you have Noelle, wondering about going to church, and then eventually finding Immanuel Presbyterian Church, in Koreatown, close to Downtown LA. A church that really called to me. Where I felt at home. Immanuel did all the things that churches “weren’t supposed to do”: ordained LGBT folks, spoke out about the wrongs happening in our world, encouraged members to ask questions about things and to get involved in the church – both locally and internationally. In the past few years, I’ve felt a little distant from Immanuel, but at the same time, each time I went back on a Sunday, I felt completely HOME.

I always said I wasn’t ever going to move back to Seattle, but in the past few years I knew that things were different. I felt that Seattle had grown up into a city that I could live in. Never mind the closeness to the GodFamily, and my mom. I figured that since the city had grown into a place where I could see myself, perhaps the strangeness of a progressive going to church had changed too. That and the fact that I am now a member of the Board of the PC(USA) led me to vow to find a Presbyterian church in Seattle where I could feel at home too…

So, this is where I found myself on August 21: vowing to visit different Covenant Network and / or More Light Presbyterian Churches. This is where Seattle is a bit strange – the presbytery is pretty conservative, even though the city really is not. I wrote down a list of churches to try, and the list isn’t very long. It includes perhaps 5 churches, I think, in the local area of Seattle. There are some others that are in Western Washington, but not many.

Starting church shopping at the end of summer meant that I probably was going to attend when a pastor wasn’t at church. In that case, perhaps that would be when a congregation would really be welcoming. Or, I could be doing some wishful thinking. So far I’ve met some very nice people, who haven’t really interacted with me at all, past saying “hi” as I left, with one exception. I have tried 4 of the 5 that I wanted to try, and one of those was recommended to me by a dear friend from Immanuel. I was hoping that there would be others people recommended, but nope. None yet.

I am coming to the conclusion that we, as churchgoers, need to be much more welcoming to those that are outside “the fold,” as it were. From the church I went to last Sunday, I got an email that had “FWD:” at the beginning of the subject line (FWD: Welcome to our Church!). Way to be precise with those emails! I just remember at Immanuel, that when there was the welcoming of new people, the visitors were encouraged to stand up and say their name, and where they were from. Then there was some drumming and applause to welcome each person who was brave enough to stand up. When the passing of the peace happened, I know I made a beeline for the visitors to welcome and say hi – and I know others did too. During the passing of the peace at most of the churches, no one really said anything, no real welcome. So, I’ve listened to sermons, and haven’t been inspired by any of them (there is one that I still think on), and left, briefly saying hi to pastors on the way out. When only the regular attendees know where to go for a fellowship hour after the service, perhaps the pastors should stand on the route from the sanctuary to the fellowship hour, instead of funneling people (especially visitors) through the outside doors. I did enjoy the fellowship hour at one of the churches – but the guy I chatted with and I had a connection through a friend. That felt kind of like cheating.

It is hard, while you’re doing a stewardship pitch, to make visitors feel welcome, but there are definitely some ways to make others feel more welcomed. The church where I felt the most welcomed was definitely NOT the biggest. At the same time, that church isn’t necessarily where I want to attend worship. Let’s be honest – I want to go to a church where there are potentially “young adult” men who are single. (I say young adult in quotes, because I don’t view myself as that any longer, but in the eyes of the PC(USA), I sure as heck AM!)

I also feel like that last paragraph is an unspoken truth. No one wants to talk about that, so no one really does.

So far, no physical church community has taken place of the “virtual” church community I have created online. I call on those people regularly for their words, daily in fact. I feel more connected to this group around the country than I do to a church community in one building. It feels strange to say that, but so far, I’m still more connected online than I am in person.
A long while ago, I did speak with my pastor at Immanuel about this, and it seemed like an unusual situation for her to hear about.

If you’re a Teaching Elder reading this, or a Ruling Elder reading this, what do you wish you could know about visitors to your church? How would you reach out to them more? I honestly didn’t think I’d feel like this, as much as I do. But, I do.

So, now I’m here. What happens next?

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Playing Peek-A-Boo with Mr Rainier

So, on August 19 I returned to Seattle. I got to drive through Seattle’s summer rush hour traffic to get to my mom’s house and then promptly went to my godfamily’s house. Kimberly & Erik are the ones who decided, a few years ago, to ask me to be one of the two godmothers to their kids. I know, what are they getting themselves into? Regardless, they’re part of the whole “reasons I moved home” list. And their two kids. Those are some good reasons, I promise.

Now that it’s over a month after I moved home, I have had some time to think on the merits of moving home, without a job. It was good to have some time off, but does anyone really need two months off? Wait, don’t answer that. I will be taking another few months off shortly. But that will be in another country, and I will be scuba diving. Or learning to lead you scuba diving. Anyway, it has been a while now, and I’m still trying to find some work that will allow me to travel, but could also still bring in money (so if you have any leads, I’ll take them – I’m not talking ponzi schemes, or random emails from Nigerian princes here!). I’m also relying on what I learned a few years ago when I was just back from Thailand and not working. As hard as that time was, it was VERY valuable. I was forced to accept help (yes, I don’t do it easily – so I say forced!) and it taught me a lesson about my friends. So, all in all it was really rough, and really good. I know it was hard, but I dug deep and learned things. Crazy, I know.

I have gotten to see parts of my family, spend time with friends and also spend time with my mom. I need to bike more, but that’ll happen. I’ll get over the idea of getting damp while cycling. Really, I will.

This.

Since I’ve been back in Seattle, I’ve gone to LA for the Best Buddies Hearst Castle Challenge (flew to LAX, drove to Carmel, ate amazing food, rode 63 of the toughest miles in my life – photo along the route above, drove back to LA, flew home), went to Louisville for a meeting (flew to Louisville, went on two bourbon tours, had a few days of meetings, had amazing food with awesome friends, flew home) and then drove to Leavenworth to spend time with my dad & stepmom. Then I got to take the train back to Seattle (picture below).

This one's a little better. And it shows a relatively clear sky, @alyosha19. #traintravel

So, I’ve been busy, albeit a slacker. I’ve been church-shopping (that’s a whole different blog post!) and getting to know some (more) of my local bars in Seattle.

And now I am going about the business of moving storage items to Spokane to a dear friend’s garage-loft. I’m again grateful for the kindness of friends. I will drive to Spokane tomorrow and see Anna and her family, and then drive to Kennewick to spend time with my grandmother. The pre-3-month-trip preparation starts now.

This involves the mental preparation too. And, the preparation of leaving my godfamily for a few months. That is hard.

Wait, I just did what?

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Oh, that’s right, I quit my job and moved home to Seattle.

In the past 6 weeks, I’ve done some crazy things. As in, I quit my job on August 12, drove to SF, then to Arcata, then to Portland, and finally I arrived in Seattle on August 19.

I said goodbye to my awesome social media friends and also non-work friends at Drago Centro, then goodbye to my work family near to work, then goodbye to my South Bay BFF’s at The Tasting Kitchen in Venice. Let me tell you, driving 8 hours while hungover isn’t the easiest thing to do. I was very glad to have had The Tasting Kitchen be my last big meal in LA – and man, did Devon and Justin get me sloshed. I would post some pictures of drinks, but I was too focused on my friends. It’s a loss for everyone, promise.

I got to see some friends in San Francisco, my little brother and some other family outside Arcata and then some other friends in Portland in my week of travel up the coast. It was a great way to think on my drive up. I don’t think that I actually felt the completeness of the move due to the fact that I was scheduled to return to LA for a big bike ride only 4 weeks later. I guess the move in stages part was good.

All in all, my trip from being a Californian to being a Washingtonian was completely awesome. I got to meet several twitter friends that I’d never met before (@themayorpete, @thedapperdiner and @fox_zilla) in San Francisco – all on the same night, in fact. I wandered around the Ferry Building with two friends, and just was mostly mobile, on foot – which is easy to do in SF, whereas not too easy in LA. The sun came out just for me, supposedly. I enjoyed spending a few days with my youngest brother, my virtual sister-in-law and also my niece. I was bummed that the 2nd youngest brother wasn’t around. I spent some good time at the river, reminiscing about when I used to spend time at the river, when I was much younger. The main difference were the rocks. We didn’t have a ton of rocks in Curlew.

After being in the country, I was ready to get back to The City, so I drove for 8 hours to Portland. There I got to see friends who are bartenders, professors and filmmakers. If Seattle doesn’t work out, I can always move to Portland! In Portland I got to meet even more people I’d never met, except for online, along with seeing friends from 7th grade and also 1997. You know, like yesterday. It was lovely to spend time in Portland and I got to meet an amazingly inspiring cyclist, Heidi Swift. Heidi and I have talked on twitter for a while, and I finally got to meet her and go for a ride with her. I knew she’d kick my ass on the ride, so it was all I could do to NOT fall down on the ride. Being hungover definitely did NOT help. Regardless, I survived a trip up Mount Tabor and around Portland. If you want to go biking in Portland – get out there and do it! The bike paths are lovely and the network of paths seems very complete. The only problem was getting back up the hill to where my car was. Huge thanks to Heidi for my cup of coffee and not leaving me in your dust!

I'm HOME!!!!!!!!

Finally it was off to cross the bridge into Washington. It felt good. It felt right. I knew that coming home was going to be a huge deal, but I didn’t know how good it would feel. I had this giddy grin on my face from when I crossed the Columbia River till I saw the Space Needle while stuck in traffic South of Downtown Seattle. When it is right, you know. Just like it was right to leave Seattle 11 years ago, it was right to return on August 19.

(This is just part 1 of my move story. More to come soon.)

Goodbyes are Hard. And now I pout.

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While I’ve made the decision to leave LA, and I know it’s the RIGHT decision, having MADE the decision does not make saying goodbye any easier.

I had my first goodbye party, okay, it could be considered my 2nd, in San Diego on Friday. I am extremely honored that my friends Alex & Jessica and their new baby Ellie were able to make a trip out of the house to come, and that Cathy, Mike & Christopher were all able to come. But, after all the kids left (or went to bed, in the case of one resident of the house), it was down to fun and interesting conversation with the adults left: me, Cheryl & Ben and Eric. We always have great conversations – and Friday was definitely no exception. We discussed bourbon and bourbon making and also women and the bible. Yes, strange topics, but then again, I AM Presbyterian! We like bourbon AND the bible.

I will miss these people in the strange (and beautiful) city of San Diego, and I am sad to admit that I didn’t take ANY photos with them. Guess I’ll just have to come back to SD soon. Or, they can come to Seattle!

Saying goodbye is difficult, but I’m definitely glad to have the facespace to keep up on life. I wish the miles were as easy to traverse as the interwebs!

political lies…

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Okay, this is a rant – you have been warned.

I’m very frustrated by the political signs here in CA regarding Props 4 & 8. I saw some signs that are out and out fear mongering lies.
Two that I’ve seen are in FAVOR of Prop 8 – which is supposedly to “protect marriage.” One says Prop 8 = Parental Rights and the other says Prop 8 = Less Government. Both are lies, and both are ones that invoke a yes response. How on earth does Prop 8 give parents more rights? They’re trying to void the decision that was made by the Supreme Court in California, that allows gay marriage. I just now saw an ad that explained it – it says that in Cali schools will teach kids about gay marriage, and that parents cannot object. It is the most asinine thing I’ve heard in a long time. I’m very upset with it. The ad made me kind of sick. The one about “less government” makes no sense at all – if you deny one group in the population something, you have to institute more government so that you can deny rights to that group. Why would people who claim to be Christian want to discriminate against one group? (Don’t answer that, I know the answer, but it’s very aggravating.) The people who are in large fundamental churches will not have to marry anyone, but they are fear-mongering, so that no one can do it. And right now, Prop 8 is winning! If it succeeds, my friend at church will have to adopt her own son – how unfair is that?

And for Prop 4 – OMG! They’re calling it “Sarah’s Law,” and on the way out of my tri parking lot today, it says “Yes on Prop 4, Stop Child Predators.” How is it going to stop predators? It’s only going to make it more difficult for young women who need to terminate a pregnancy – it will make parental notification mandatory. If a young woman is getting raped by her father, is she really going to be able to ask her parents for help?? You cannot MAKE teens talk to their parents – how on earth does the government think they’ll be able to mandate this?? This law is NOT the way to do it.

I’m very annoyed with the disinformation out there. Not that it’s unexpected, but ARGH!!! I only have a few more weeks of this shizzle… and you do too.