The Application to Be Noelle’s Friend

Here it is… in all its glory. A friend asked for one, so I made it. Now all the current friends have to go through the application process.

  1. Are you cool? Describe the coolness factor.
  2. Do you like rock music? Tell me what you like.
  3. Do you like travel? Where have you been?
  4. What’s your middle name? Is it cool enough for me to adopt, since I have none?
  5. Who are your heroes?
  6. Do you like alcohol? What other habits do you have that I should be aware of? Would you describe them as good or bad?
  7. Are you spontaneous? Tell me about a spontaneous outing.
  8. What’s one thing you’ve not done yet in your life, that you feel you need to have done?
  9. Do you have regrets? Explain.
  10. Do you have pets? What kind?
  11. Would you give your life for me? (Only complete this if you are applying for BEST FRIEND status.)

The end.

8 thoughts on “The Application to Be Noelle’s Friend”

  1. Wow, this is dumb. I thought it was going to be like an “app” rather than just an actual application. I was looking forward to it being automated. Here are my answers anyway, but know that I am disappointed in you.

    Are you cool?
    No.

    Do you like rock music?
    I like an eclectic mix of music. I once bought a Joni Mitchell cd and a Methods of Mayhem cd at the same time. I only remember this because the clerk talked about it endlessly. Right now I really like the band ‘Butterfingers,’ but you can only download one of their albums on iTunes which is stupid.

    Do you like travel?
    Sometimes.

    Where have you been?
    I assume you’re interested in more international destinations. I have been to England/France/Switzerland/Italy on my honeymoon, Penang, Malasia for work, and Tanzania in Africa to climb Kilimanjaro and go on safari. I go to Billings, MT, and San Jose quite a bit nowadays.

    What’s your middle name?
    Tuck

    Is it cool enough for me to adopt, since I have none?
    Well, it’s my wife’s maiden name. Prior to that my middle name was John which doesn’t qualify I suppose. Laura changed her last name so I changed my middle name. It’s the least I could do. I have a friend with the middle name “John Wayne” so that’s pretty good. Also there’s an Emerson which isn’t so good. Maddox’s middle name is “Crash” which I am not making up.

    Who are your heroes?
    I don’t really have any. Is that sad? I don’t aspire to be like anything, I just do the best I can with whatever is going on at the time.

    Do you like alcohol?
    Only very occasionally.

    What other habits do you have that I should be aware of?
    I can’t think of anything good here.

    Would you describe them as good or bad?
    It’s a mixed bag.

    Are you spontaneous?
    Yes, and I just came up with that answer off the top of my head.

    Tell me about a spontaneous outing.
    I’m a fan of the Indiana Pacers basketball team. When I first moved out here to Colorado, the Pacers made it to the NBA finals. They were down 3 games to 1 so game 5 was potentially they’re last game of the season. I decided that even though it would potentially mean watching the hated Lakers win a title, I couldn’t let the Pacers make the finals and not go to a game. However, I didn’t decide this until Thursday night around 8 o’clock when I had finished up the work project I was working on. I then drove through the night stopping only at an off-ramp in Iowa to sleep. I got to Indianapolis around the middle of the day on Friday, bought an overpriced ticket off a scalper for the game that night, and then a room in the cheapest hotel I could find. The Pacers won the game, and I drove home on Saturday. How’s that?

    What’s one thing you’ve not done yet in your life, that you feel you need to have done?
    I’m pretty satisfied. If you ever hear that I died, know that I died happy.

    Do you have regrets?
    Certainly there have been times in my relationship history where I wish that I had treated people better or more considerately than I did. However, for my own life anyway I’ve pretty much coasted through unscathed and if I did change anything I’d have to worry that I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now. So I’d be nicer sometimes I guess, but that’s about it.
    **Edit from Zach: “Should have hung out with Noelle and Phil more in College.”**
    Do you have pets?
    Not right now

    What kind?
    It would be a dog eventually.

    Would you give your life for me?
    I’m not really trying to be your best friend. I can barely keep up as it is.

  2. Arrggh. I want to change my “regrets” answer to “Should have hung out with Noelle and Phil more in College.” Make it so. I hope Phil gets on here so we can have a flame war on your blog. YES WE CAN!

  3. Tinier – does this mean you have no attention span to be my friend?

    Can’t come to PDX tomorrow, my friend’s baby is still in the hospital. Boo.

  4. Are you cool? Not in the classical sense
    Describe the coolness factor. I’m more groovy

    Do you like rock music? Sure, I like lots of music
    Tell me what you like. No brain power assigned to remember bane names sorry.

    Do you like travel? Yes
    Where have you been? East coast, central states, Florida, London, Paris, Hawaii, Japan, Korea, Canada, Los Angeles, North Mexico.

    What’s your middle name? William
    Is it cool enough for me to adopt, since I have none? Not really, its pretty common.

    Who are your heroes? mmnn, “balanced” people. People who see both (or more) sides of things and aren’t stressed over the little things.

    Do you like alcohol? Sure, long as it tastes good.

    What other habits do you have that I should be aware of? I tend to be amused by others minor dificulties, usually in direct proportion to how frustrated they get.
    Would you describe them as good or bad? oh, another one, I tend to think in terms of grays, not strict good and bads.

    Are you spontaneous? Not usually, but occasiaonlly, and then it surprises people.
    Tell me about a spontaneous outing. Oh outings, i don’t really go places very often.

    What’s one thing you’ve not done yet in your life, that you feel you need to have done? Retire. I have high hopes for being an old coger who playes a lot of video games.

    Do you have regrets? No
    Explain. My biggest potential reret is chaning colleges my Junior year, which put me down teh path of being disatisfied with scholl and not finishing my deegree. But…. because I changed schools, I met a friend, introduced him to an obscure little online MUD, where he met a lady who lived 1500 miles away he never would have met otherwise. They got married and have children now. So that seems like an ok trade. I find every potential regret has an ok trade iI look close enough.

    Do you have pets? No

    Would you give your life for me? (Only complete this if you are applying for BEST FRIEND status.) mmmnn, deep. Not sure, i’d like to think if yours was on the line I would. But if you only risked loosing a pinky figer or something, probably not.

  5. Okay, so I answered the earlier version. Mine may have some questions that were later amended…

    1. Are you cool? Describe the coolness factor. That depends on how you define ‘cool.’ I’m several years away from hot flashes, so according to my older friends, I’m very cool. I also have teenage (step)daughters that I go shopping with and drive places so I’m moderately aware of recent fashion and music, and I own more than one rapper’s CDs. And I have two cats. That makes me cool all by itself, especially since my male cat (Molly) is a lover and not a fighter, and the female (George) is psycho but I still pet her.

    2. Do you like rock music? Tell me what you like. Time really stopped after rock. I listen to other stuff, because it’s out there, and because there’s very little new rock. Steppenwolf, Aerosmith, the Stones, the Police are on my playlist that’s up on the Ipod right now. And I like all the 70s rock, except I don’t consider Jefferson Starship to belong. Airplane, maybe, but not Starship. Then I have a category for ‘boys’ that’s got the James Blunt/John Mayer (among others) crap that everyone needs when they have pms. Then I have the ‘girls’ with Joan Osborne, Melissa Etheridge, Annie Lenox, Cindy Lauper, Xtina, Sarah McLaughlin, Sade, and the girl that’s gonna die (Amy Winehouse) and others. And I LOVE the 80s. I was an alternative girl – the Cure, the Clash, DK, Eurythmics, Howard Jones, David Bowie, Talking Heads, Grace Jones, Yaz, Yes, Psychedelic Furs, etc. And I have a collection of off the wall punk that no one has heard of from the 80s, like Black Flag, Circle Jerks, the Misfits, Paint Your Dog, Social Distortion, the Minutemen, the Bolshoi, Sonic Youth, etc. And I have some classical stuff. Yes, classical. I like ballet. And I have some Johnny Cash and Neil Diamond. Don’t kick me off the friendship bus for Johnny. I’d have to kick you for that.

    3. Do you like travel? Where have you been? I love to travel. At least I think I would. I haven’t been anywhere. Unless Vegas is a destination. I was born in CA. Moved all over CA. Moved to Oregon. Moved to Utah, to Montana, back to Oregon, then back to Utah. Then to California. Visited Vegas, New Jersey, Ohio, Canada (which looked just like northern Utah) and Mexico (Tijuana, so it probably doesn’t count.) But I’m going to China in March and on a week-long cruise to Mexico in January. So there.

    4. What’s your middle name? Is it cool enough for me to adopt, since I have none? My middle name is Denise. When I was 4, I had surgery and when I came out of anesthesia, I looked at the thing on my wrist and read “Dennis” (phonetics, you know). I asked if that was my doctor. They told me it was my middle name. I’ve never gotten over it, and still hate my middle name. You can have it but I will call you Noelle Dennis.

    5. Who are your heroes? My grandmother and grandfather. They’re both gone now, but they kept me sane and made me a good person. They told me that “the secret to a long marriage is oral sex, which is when you spend all your time in different rooms and yell F#$*&* You at each other.” They meant it in a kind and funny way, although they are the first I ever heard use the f-word. And Ginny, my grandma, was no ordinary grandmother. After my grandpa died, she wanted to get back into dating. Made me teach her how to put rubbers on a banana, cuz she’d never used one. She didn’t want to die having had sex with only one man. So, we wouldn’t want pregnancy at 78. Just in case…

    6. Do you like alcohol? What other habits do you have that I should be aware of? Would you describe them as good or bad? I like alcohol, and it likes me! I am very funny when I drink tequila, which I save for special occasions. I drink wine about once a month, and I have cocktails (usually involving vodka) when the mood strikes. I can’t drink weekly, or daily, so I’d say it’s not a habit. I’m a lightweight, and it makes me sleepy after a few hours. But I’m still fun. And when I drink, I like cigarettes. So that’s bad.

    I like to play slot machines in Vegas. Obsessively. You can leave me there for 24 hours straight. That’s a habit. And I usually am up a couple of hundred dollars on a weekend. It’s a good habit because I make money, get my drinks for free and I entertain myself. Low maintenance, self sufficient.

    I have a horrific habit related to Christmas. Since I’m only half-Jewish, I got both holidays growing up. And in my world, Christmas starts the day after Thanksgiving. Well, the decorations do. I have 9 very large boxes of xmas decorations, and four trees. All fake. It has to be cheesy or it isn’t right. Any holiday that makes you take a tree inside and put lights outside in order to get a fat man to slide down your chimney to honor the birth of some kid in Israel has to be done cheese-ily. So I decorate like mad. And then I have an ugly ornament party to add to the cheesiness. Start looking – you’re invited. Bring the ugliest ornament you can, wrapped. And last year we added the ugly sweater rule – must have ugly Xmas sweater on or you don’t get in. Then you get a number and get to pick from the pile of beautifully wrapped gems. Dates TBA soon.

    7. Are you spontaneous? Tell me about a spontaneous outing. I did out my brother. That was very spontaneous. He thanks me now, but he was really pissed at the time. I am moderately spontaneous. My sister and I have randomly taken road trips with no advance warning and no plan, and stopped wherever we were interested. And I spontaneously quit my last job. The mood struck…And it was either quit or stab someone.

    8. What’s one thing you’ve not done yet in your life, that you feel you need to have done? Gone to Israel and Africa. But I’m working on it.

    9. Do you have regrets? Yes. (This is so OBVIOUSLY a yes/no question, even though I have the desire to add to my response, I am limited by the question, itself. And I am a rule follower. Dammit.)

    10. Would you give your life for me? Uh, no. For my nieces and nephew and stepkids, yes. Other than that, everyone else is toast.

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